I'm angry!

I'm just mad. Like really mad.

I don't want to spend time researching total thyroid removal and thyroid cancer.

I'm upset that I currently have very little room to think about family, friends, and my work. Too much of my energy is being consumed with thinking through decisions and processing conversations with doctors and those who have been on this path.

I'm upset that my normally low amount of patience is completely tapped out. I go from fine to pissed in about two seconds.

I miss having mental and emotional margin. I'm having a hard time rolling with changes. Ugh! My life is too full for all of this!

Annoyed that I feel angry about my situation because I know people around me are struggling with their own challenges.

Physically, I feel fine. In fact, I feel pretty dang good. So, why do I have to have a surgery which will cause me pain and will most likely make me feel like crud for awhile?

Bottom line - I'm grieving the loss of being a pretty healthy person and I'm just angry about it at the moment.

Words for the Journey

Psalm 62:5-7

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

As I went through my scripture memory cards this morning, this verse was the first one I pulled out. How cool is that! This is what my heart is meditating on today as I prepare for my appointment this afternoon.

For those of us who are hurting, waiting, looking for hope - I pray God would grant you rest and hope for today because he is the only one who can.

Thankful for rest!
Misti

A Journey...

Hey friends! I know it has been awhile since I've updated here. Life got busy and yada, yada, yada...

But I've begun a little journey and felt this would be the best way to communicate it to the peeps who don't see me everyday but we keep tabs on each other via social media ;)

A couple of weeks ago I had a biopsy done on my thyroid. I received the results on Thursday and it came back as suspicious for papillary carcinoma (cancer). The Endocrinologist has recommended that the thyroid be completely removed and I meet with a surgeon tomorrow afternoon to talk about what is next.

Those are the facts. The feelings?

Well, I feel like I'm on a roller-coaster ride at the moment. I do a big drop, then I climb up again and realize it's going to be okay, only to ride back down again. This came as a shock to me and I've been processing and trying to wrap my mind around what is ahead of me.

I'm currently stirred but not shaken.

I'm not sure how much I'll blog about this. I plan to and I'm sure there will be Twitter and Facebook updates. Feel free to ask me about how things are going if you want to or feel free to not :) I'm aware this is central in my world but not for everyone else.

Thanks for the prayers, love, and support I've already received. I'm thankful for the amazing community God has provided.

Chat with you soon!
Misti

Kroger Meltdown

It was bound to happen. I'm surprised it took this long. In the five years I've been a parent, I've never experienced the full grocery store meltdown. Sure, we have some crying and fussiness but NEVER a full out temper tantrum. Until today...

As Maddie and I were walking into the grocery store, a woman stopped me to tell me my daughter was "just precious." Another woman called out to her friend to look at the cute little girl.

Doesn't she look SO sweet? She was happy and smiling as we ran into the grocery store.

It was smooth sailing through the produce section, deli counter, and organic aisle. Turns out she likes ham. Good to know! We were having a good time chatting about the different items and marking them off the list. So fun!

It all started going downhill as we were leaving the meat section. You see, I wouldn't give her my pen. I tried to appease her by offering to let her hold the grocery list or items we were purchasing but she wasn't having it. I, of course, was not going to give her the pen.

By the time we got to the milk aisle she was screaming at me. I tried to ignore her. Other grocery store shoppers tried to be helpful by talking to her and trying to distract her. Silly people! She then started screaming at them too. You can go here if you would like to get an idea of what it sounded like. You will only need to watch the first six seconds.

I tried to remain calm. This child's poor behavior was not a reflection on my parenting skills. Right? However, when she started to push me away from the cart and yelling, "NO, MOMMY!" I had had enough. I parked the cart, took her out of it, and carried her screaming out of the store. Oh, my! I strapped her into her car seat and she screamed some more. I called Dan to come get her. She continued to scream even after Dan arrived to take her home.

I went back into the store, got the cart, and finished shopping. (I only had three aisles left to go, ugh!!) I was rattled and shaken. Maddie had been well fed, not sick, and not due for a nap for two hours. Where did I go wrong? Then I remembered - I have a two-year old.

When I got home, she asked if I would play with her and her Little People. I took this opportunity to remind her that she hadn't been very nice to me in the grocery store and I really didn't feel like playing. She said she was sorry and kissed my hand. Shut-up!

She is lucky she is so dang cute!

Halloween 2010

It seems like I take a hiatus from blogging every year during the fall. It's my busy season at home and work (and this season was extremely busy) and that leaves me little time to think about documenting life. However, it just seems wrong to not update the blog with the Halloween 411. So, here are some photos from the day:

It was a perfect fall day in the ATL. It was 72 degrees when we left to go trick or treating. Shut up! This Chicago girl appreciates the wonderful weather. I do NOT take it for granted!!

Luke was Iron Man. His costume was totally awesome!


Maddie was Snow White. It's her favorite princess at the moment.


Iron Man led the way and Snow White was right behind him.


One of my favorite moments was Maddie running to catch-up with the boys.
So different from last year. She was not about to be left behind :)


I hope your Halloween was a good one!

She is just too cute!

Alright, you may go back to your regularly scheduled day!

Luke is 5!

Today we celebrated the Luke-man's fifth Birthday...

Can you believe how big he is? I know I say this every year, but I can't believe he is five. It seems like yesterday we were calling him the "Angry Burrito." As a baby, he hated to be swaddled and would get so mad. However, he couldn't handle the responsibility of his own hands and they would attack him while he tried to sleep. Such a catch-22 but I digress...

This year Luke had his first friend party. He has been going to more and more parties and I knew he would really want to have one with his friends too. So, we partied down at Monkey Joe's.

This was the best shot I could get of Luke playing with his friends. I finally gave up trying and decided to wait until they were sitting for cake.

Speaking of cake, here is the pic. This year's theme was Scooby-Doo. Dan has introduced the kiddos to the DVDs and they love watching those "meddling kids" :)

Luke with Monkey Joe. I had heard that an adult dressed as a character could create panic in a child and I am here to report this rumor has been confirmed. Monkey Joe left the party room and order was quickly restored.

Then it was back to the house to open gifts with the Mancini's and have more cake. Can you have too much cake? I submit to you that you cannot :)

Luke on his big-boy bike. How fun is that?
Happy birthday, my sweet boy. You are one loved little dude!