Help on the Journey

In the book "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your Life" the authors talk about this idea of carrying your own backpack versus carrying boulders. Here is my paraphrase... Everyday life is filled with ups and downs. We all have annoyances and bumps in the road that we are to deal with - this is our own backpack to carry.

Then there are times in life when you have to deal something major. Something you can't deal with on your own and you need the help of others - those events are the boulders of life.

My issue is I like to stuff the boulders of life in my backpack and try to walk on my own. I look at those around me and say, "I got it!! I don't need any help. I'm doing alright." Then as I try to step forward the weight of the boulder starts to crush me.

Oh, I'm pretty good at keeping up the facade that things are going well. I will work hard on that image. However, those closest to me (like Dan, Luke, and Maddie) feel the effects of my crushing. They are on the receiving end of my lack of patience, the curtness, tiredness, and the anger. Those I love and care for the most get the worst. This is so unfair to my family and my behavior makes me so sad.

At the beginning of this thyroid journey, my wonderful friend and co-worker, Jill, encouraged me to let others help. Let people pray for me and let them help me carry this burden to lighten my load. Life has handed Jill some huge boulders in her young life and I've had the privilege to watch her deal with those in an amazing way. So, I pretty much view her as an expert and decide to take her advise. If not for my own sake, for my family's.

It hasn't been easy for me to let people help. Sometimes I've felt like Maddie (who is two), "I'll do it myself!" Sometimes I thought allowing myself the margin to hurt and heal was too extravagant...too much of a luxury. Like I'm buying myself a mansion or something. Oh, to live in my head...

I'm so thankful God let me see how unhealthy my coping skills can be. I'm so grateful for Jill's advise, encouragement, and example. I have learned so much through this process. I'm so thankful for the amazing help that I've had on this journey. This boulder did not crush me because many hands made light work!

So extremely grateful!
Misti