I'm just mad. Like really mad.
I don't want to spend time researching total thyroid removal and thyroid cancer.
I'm upset that I currently have very little room to think about family, friends, and my work. Too much of my energy is being consumed with thinking through decisions and processing conversations with doctors and those who have been on this path.
I'm upset that my normally low amount of patience is completely tapped out. I go from fine to pissed in about two seconds.
I miss having mental and emotional margin. I'm having a hard time rolling with changes. Ugh! My life is too full for all of this!
Annoyed that I feel angry about my situation because I know people around me are struggling with their own challenges.
Physically, I feel fine. In fact, I feel pretty dang good. So, why do I have to have a surgery which will cause me pain and will most likely make me feel like crud for awhile?
Bottom line - I'm grieving the loss of being a pretty healthy person and I'm just angry about it at the moment.
3 comments:
You are pretty much describing my 2010. Kidney Stone, Spots on the liver, Spots on the lung, coronary calcification, and a hernia surgery that went from an overnight to a week of the worst pain I've ever felt and long term affects to be concerned about.
So here is where I'd like to say something pithy about trusting God, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, etc. But sometimes you just need to let yourself be angry.
But know that you are loved and no matter how/what you need to do/feel to get through this, that will never change.
I'm so sorry, Misti. Health issues SUCK, and especially ones that are really scary - like ones that begin with 'c'. I really hate it for you. Praying!
My dear Misiti!
I had no idea! I am so sorry...I will pray for you fervently. Please let me know if you need anything or if I can help you in any way.
Love,
Jenny
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